Creating Supportive Environments
I'm writing
this on my laptop in a Cosi café in Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C.
The reason I am here has nothing to do with me or my business, but the
reason I can continue to be successful in my work is because I have set
myself up to do so. How? By creating supportive environments. In this
case, the laptop, the appropriate software, and the ability to connect
to the Internet, as well as the support of my husband, all contribute
positively to my accomplishment of the task: writing and submitting this
column on deadline and without stress.
Creating supportive
environments is imperative to your success as an entrepreneur. It goes
without saying that if you have environments that will support you and
your passion, it's going to be much easier and more enjoyable for you to
do your work. I'm going to touch upon the environments that I believe
are most essential to your success and well being.
There are
many environments in your life, and most of them intertwine. Being aware
of these environments will ensure that you have a hand in creating them,
and not allow them to be created for you by tolerating those people,
situations and things that you shouldn't. Important areas of your
overall environment include your home, office/work space, body, energy,
nature, which all impact your mental, spiritual, and emotional
environments.
In your outer environment, your home is one of the
most important. Your home should be a sacred place for you, a place
where you feel safe, taken care of, and content. Clutter and chaos in
the home should be kept at a minimum, but your bedroom and your work
space in particular should reflect calm. I know sometimes it just isn't
possible to stay on top of it all, but if you make a consistent effort
to divide and conquer - and ask for help! - over time you can make a
huge difference in the quality of your home environment. As bonus,
you'll create space for other more appropriate and wonderful things to
enter as well!
If you have a list of things that are broken,
need replacing, or just need to be tossed, then start doing this today.
Pick three things that are in your home right at this moment that you
can either toss or give away. Then do so, and feel the space clear.
Nothing blocks creativity more than clutter in your office or
work space. To be honest, I write that sheepishly thinking of the paper
piles on the floor surrounding my desk at home. What I need is a real
desk and real filing cabinets (I'm working on about a 2x3 table with
milk crates to hold my files), but I've put purchasing them on hold
while we finish the rest of the house that was unfinished when we bought
it. We are very close to the end and I have picked out the furniture I
want, and just that simple decision is freeing a lot of mental stores.
If you have clutter in your work space, you are not allowing
yourself to be more productive and creative. Give yourself the gift of a
clutter-free space in which to bring your gifts into the world. Take ten
minutes at the end of each day and tidy your space. File what needs to
be filed, throw away anything that you no longer need and can honestly
assess that you really won't ever need (like that article you printed
out about planting an herb garden in the winter that you know you'll
never read, never mind do), and make a plan for tomorrow. Don't ask
yourself to be perfect in this; sometimes you are going to need to fly
away from your work space and simply don't have the time to do so. When
that's the case, then take the ten minutes in the morning to clear your
space so you can clear your mind for the work of the day.
Having
the right tools to work with will also make your work more enjoyable and
much less stressful. My desktop died a slow tortuous death over the
summer and you can't imagine my stress level at the time. It got so bad
that I literally shut down and spent a week in a cabin in the woods,
just working from my laptop, just to get away from it. And I also can't
tell you how happy I was when it finally bit the bullet and I bought my
new one. The lesson, though, for me was that I should have simply bought
the new desktop when I knew that there was no saving my old one, instead
of going through the stress of not being able to do work, and not being
as productive as I like and need to be to continue to be successful in
my work. It certainly wasn't worth it - on any level - to suffer through
those last weeks.
As in your home, are there things in your
office or work space that need to be tossed, replaced or upgraded? Are
you tolerating things for financial or other reasons that are really
counter-productive, like I did with my ailing desktop? Choose one thing
that would make your work easier and more enjoyable if you replaced,
upgraded or tossed it, and make the decision to do whatever it takes to
make that happen as soon as reasonably possible. Stop tolerating what
you shouldn't and get on with bringing your work into the world.
Your body is an environment that you need to take care of as
well. Are you getting regular exercise? Are you participating in
something physical that you really enjoy, not something that you dread
making yourself do simply because you know it's good for you? Are you
eating as nutritiously as possible, without feeling deprived of the
foods you love? Do you get haircuts as often as you should and would
like? Do you treat yourself to a manicure, pedicure, or some other spa
treatment once in awhile? Do you get enough sleep? Do you rest when you
need to? Do you run on adrenaline or do you use food and exercise as
your means for energy? Our body is one of the environments that can be
easy to ignore (until something is wrong), yet when we take good care of
ourselves in this way, it is amazing how much more energy, patience,
creativity, satisfaction, etc. we have.
Choose one area of your
body environment that you know you can improve right away and make the
commitment right now to do it. That could mean you will go to bed a half
hour earlier each night, or that you will take a 30-minute walk outside
today. You could not have a sugar-laden dessert tonight and instead opt
for a lighter version of frozen yogurt with fresh fruit. What action
could you take today that you know will make you feel proud of yourself
for doing so?
Are you like me and by about mid-February, you've
had it with the gray day after day? Not feeling sunlight for days at a
time really affects my mood and my motivation levels. And sometimes,
when you work at home, it's easy not to go outside sometimes for days at
a time. I know I'm guilty of this, and I try to make any effort to spend
at least 15 minutes outside, soaking up some sun. What about natural
light in your work space? Windows? Clean and fresh air? Are these things
part of your everyday creative environment, as they should be?
If you aren't getting enough natural light, fresh air, and can't
see the outside world, you are stunting your creative flow. If there is
anything you can do to change or improve your natural environment in
this way, I encourage you to do it now.
Your energy field is one
of your most important environments. It doesn't only include your own
energy and the sources from which you get it, but it also includes the
energy, positive or negative, that you get from your spouse, your
friends, your children, your other family members, and your clients or
customers. Since our relationships are so important to us, it is very
difficult sometimes to set appropriate boundaries, and we tend to
tolerate behaviors and actions that are detrimental to our own well
being.
In order for you to be as successful as you want to be
(remember that everyone's definition of success is different), you need
to take a hard look at the relationships that are not nurturing you,
that are sending negative vibes into your energy field, and recognize
that you are allowing it. And then you need to make adjustments. You
will either need to set clear and solid boundaries, or you will need to
let go, as hard as that may be. I found I had to do this with a few very
old friends over the last few years. As much as we share a history that
I treasure, when I was making some major transitions in my life, the
only "support" they could give me was to remind me how miserable it all
was, even when I had moved through the misery of it and had created a
new and happy life for myself. They just wanted to stay stuck in the
misery of it, and you know why…because they were miserable! It was hard,
especially because we had a lot of mutual friends, but I have never
regretted that decision. And you know what happened? Two new amazingly
wonderful supportive friendships showed up in my life soon afterwards.
Cutting ties with old friends is hard, but dealing with
not-so-supportive family members is even more difficult. My favorite
tactic is to not react to anything they say or do, to just simply
respond. It is very hard to not be attached to the feelings that a
family member can arise in you (guilt, worthlessness, stupidity), but at
some point you have to take back your power and not allow them to make
you feel that way anymore. Their issues are their issues and you need to
let them own that - don't carry it for them. I have found that when I am
able to respond instead of react, they tend to give up and move on much
faster. And each time I do this, I get better at it, and they get the
message more and more clear. And suddenly I have found them on my side,
being a cheerleader for my work and my life. Believe me that it is worth
it to stand up for yourself with grace.
As for dealing with
clients or customers who drain your energy, your best bet is to create
an Ideal Client Profile and stick judiciously to it. The ICP is not a
new concept, by any means, but it is one of the best ways to create an
environment around your work that is full of supportive and wonderful
people who love what you do and who make you want to do more for them
because of it. If you'd like a worksheet on how to create an ICP, please
email me at http://www.entremoms.com/mailtoICP@entremoms.com
and I'll send a copy to you. Choose one person, if needed, in both your
personal and professional life to whom you either need to let go of, or
set some clear boundaries with, and get to work.
You'll find
that your inner environment will improve as you make positive changes to
your outer environment. In addition, making space in your mind for your
creativity to flow is important for you to be able to bring your best
self into the world. One of the ways to do this is to invest a bit of
time each day into writing what Julia Cameron calls "Morning Pages,"
which is three pages of free writing at the beginning of each day to
clear your mind of some of the unnecessary clutter. Sometimes what you
write will seem trivial, but it's that trivial stuff that takes up much
needed space in your head! Other times you'll enjoy some real
breakthroughs. I highly recommend engaging in this practice. I have been
journaling all my life, but the practice of Morning Pages really does
help the creativity flow - besides that I believe that every life that
is worth living is worth recording.
Your assignment then is to
purchase a journal or notebook, or create a new file on your computer,
and start tomorrow writing three pages of whatever comes to mind. Make
this a daily practice and watch what happens.
Another huge part
of perfecting your inner environment is living with integrity. Do what
you say you will when you say you will do it. Most people make a solid
effort on this front. Some people struggle, and I will admit to working
hard on this principle in my personal life, although I seem to have this
nailed in my professional life. My "excuse" is that I have so many
things going at once that I don't always remember or have the time to do
what I say I will when I say I will do it (like send thank you notes or
run to the bank to deposit a check). So I have created a system that
makes it easier for me to keep my word, which is very important to me. I
created a list each day of the things I must get done, and I do my very
best to complete the list. I don't always succeed, but I've gotten much
better at it than I have in the past. The list also makes me aware of
when I need more time to deliver and therefore I can let any appropriate
person know that ahead of time, keeping my integrity intact.
Making an effort over time to create supportive environments for
the things that are most important to you will open doors and
opportunities that you might never have received otherwise. You deserve
to be supported in your work and your life, so choosing to allow those
people and things into it that bring out your best is not only a gift to
yourself, but also a gift to the world.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
copyright 2004 Alicia M.
Forest and EntreMoms.com™. Alicia Forest is an EntreMoms™ Expert,
coaching Moms who want to become Entrepreneurs by building a successful
business from home, by their definition of success. If you'd like more
tips on how to create supportive environments for your success, please
visit www.entremoms.com and sign up for Alicia's free EntreMoms™ Success
Newsletter. You are free to re-publish this article as long as this bio
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